Doing something wrong..... surely?

It's all right, I'm not going to promote this post
- SEE MY PUBLISHED WORKS! -

- but seriously.... what??

You know like when you write and you idly peruse your Amazon ranking, thinking, ooo, check me out, aren't I summat like, and you come across -

Gay werewolf Highlander porn.

What am I doing wrong? How come I'm not writing gay werewolf Highlander porn, which must be an absolute laugh riot to write, let alone read?

"Show me your claymore, MacDubh!"
"Grrrrrrrr....."

Instead of thrashing about in the mud with Rosie Babbitt, whose definition of nakedness is leaving his sword on the table.

Going to keep me up all night, that is. Gay werewolf Highlander porn. And I thought keeping your bloody buffcoat and boots on was kinky.